I have been very neglectful of this page recently. So much going on, trying to cope in a positive way with changes in my life. Fear, overwhelming ideas going thru my brain, wanting to help others in my situation and yet having no one for myself. Face Book put me in jail for over a week. Still have no idea what I did. When they are in their crisis, its what it is, and they look to you for support, and you hanging on by your toenails. I know its not health. But what if you are the one that turns them away and they relapse? Not your zoo, not your monkey. And that is the krutz of the whole matter. Self care, I am not the healer of all. I have to remind myself that I must come first, if I don't I die. I am constantly reminding myself of this. And I get tired. Very tired. I call my son for tiny help, and to have his wife tell me I need to call her and she can take care of it. I want to talk to my son. I am here in CO. because of him. I do my best to take care of self. I don't ask them for help for that reason. But I am only able to physically do so much. Yes, I am tired, I understand now why the elderly will give up. I don't know so much I really care if I am alone, just would like some help to do physical things.
My kids summer art program started yesterday. I have one. I am happy that I am not overloaded. Did the Artisan show, in Delores. Did not sell a thing, and yet we had a full group of vendors and they seemed happy, wanted to know when the next one was. I just silently screamed. So, very tired. But will look into organizing a Fall Show.
Now I can get back to some new clay work. I hope all of you stay in a positive frame of mind. It helps to write about it. Keeping a journal is a huge help for me. When its on paper, its like a release for me. One day at a time. One baby step at a time.
Peace Peeps
bjw
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/big-t-and-little-t-trauma-and-how-your-body-reacts-to-it-1019154
No comments:
Post a Comment