Mine.....Depression is very sneaky. Even after living with it for years, it always sneaks up on me. Why do I even care? At the moment, I don't care. I am not suicidal, physically that is. It's not worth the trouble. I don't care that I feel valueless. I don't feel anything, actually. I can't even cry. Tears, really? This is what I feel when my soul is dying. Sad, disappointed, stuck, feeling sorry for self, tired of taking care of myself. Why should I care? Who is going to know or care if I shower today, or a week ago. Or that I wear the same clothes for a week.
The leaves are turning and falling to the ground. Thats how I feel. If thats a feeling. There is a strange calmness in writing this. I am not afraid, I am not anxious, nor sad, I am not nothing. There it is, nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing but the thoughts in my head of a past lifetime.
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