I am feeling very lost tonight. Memories come flooding in. Anniversary's upcoming. A sadness in my soul. I am not feeling suicidal. Just sad remembering what my life was a year ago and what it is now. A very sad statement of my life. And so it goes.
Do you suppose that's what a businessman feels when he fails? I just want to crawl in bed and sleep. and sleep. That way I don't have to feel anything. Nothing at all. I hate feeling this way. I have nothing to show for my life. what I have has no value. It will all wind up in the trash when I am gone. I guess that's how it is when we get old and valueless. Alone, existing, not living. this is not living. Watching every penny, not even having pennies left to save. I have no one to share my life with, to laugh and cry with. To live life with.
I am lost tonight. Safe, but lost.
bjw
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